Cafe | May 27, 2019

How to say “NO” to helping others all the time

As easy as it may sound, saying “No” to someone when required, is quite difficult. It’s only human nature that we often put others wants and needs ahead of others; even if it as the cost of our mental peace and happiness. You may hold yourself in high standards for caring about others so much. But ask yourself - is it really necessary? How selfless are you while helping others? Do you expect the same help in return or will not have any hard feelings, if the other person doesn’t help you return when you need it?

While in some cases, helping others it turns into a habit, others help in expectation of getting the same in return. For the ones whose helping nature becomes a habit, they sometimes give up their own thoughts, feelings and needs in the hope that the other person is happy; and that somehow makes them happy. But mind you, it comes with a cost - self-worth. So, here are some ways by which you can say ‘No’ and that too in a polite manner.

For starters, you must first acknowledge the fact that you and the other person can have different choices and that you must stick to your opinion, no matter how much you value the other person.

It’s okay if you need space for yourself when you have a lot going on with yourself. During such a situation, you can politely say ‘No’ by simply putting in the reason that you have some other important task at hand.

While saying ‘No’, you need not be aggressive. We often tend to have some preconceived notions that saying ‘No’ to someone makes one belligerent. But understand this - you have the right to say no. You can say things like, “I have some other tasks at hand and may not be able to do that.”

Maintain your boundaries. There will be times when you can give and times when you cannot. You need to be true to your feelings and what you’d like to do at that particular moment.