Cafe | May 27, 2019

How phubbing can destroy your relationship

You’re almost always phubbing, without even realizing what it is! It’s basically the cellphone behaviour that irritates everyone – the one where you continuously pay attention to your phone rather than the person you are with, or even in front of, at that point.

For instance, you are sitting at a restaurant with your partner, both of you are having a nice meal and suddenly your partner locks his eyes on his phone screen to the point of ignoring you and the food. According to relationship expert Donna Arp Weitzman, she told BestLife, “The person that’s being phubbed — the phubbee, if you will — begins to resent it, they feel ignored. They feel like the people on your cell phone or whatever that’s trying to reach you…are more important than your relationship.”

Technology has been a boon, but when one doesn’t know when and how to limit it, it then becomes a problem. Neglecting quality time with your significant other, just so you can scan your Instagram or Facebook is equal to emotional infidelity. It is actually directly linked to one’s lack of self-esteem and insecurity, opine experts. We check our phones to avoid any unwanted interaction with our partner.

According to a study conducted by Baylor University in 2015, the researchers explained, “Cellphone use can undermine the bedrock of our happiness – our relationships with our romantic partners.” They termed “partner phone snubbing” as "Pphubbing" (the extra "p" denotes partner).

Is there any feeling worse than trying to tell your bae a story while their eyes are glued to their phone? Imagine even being phubbed by a potential new friend at work. The feeling of rejection you get when you try to tell a story but everyone's too busy looking at their phones to hear what you said, is brutally awful!

The fact that it’s in our second-nature to constantly check notifications on our phones, we don’t realise that our partner may get offended. We tend to forget that our partner is more important. It takes a conscious effort to eat healthily and work. In a similar manner, it is important to keep a check on how many times we are looking at our mobile screens. Reducing the number of times you look at your phone also decreases distractions and increases your concentration levels. You need to choose whether giving attention to your partner is more important or to your phone.